Dwelling On Things, aka Rumination
by: Phil Holleman
I learned more about personality types when I was at First Steps To Success in Dallas last week-end. I now see that being a Pearl has disadvantages as well as advantages. One disadvantage is dwelling on things!
Pearls are those who value people. We like to serve people. We are soft-spoken, thoughtful, and caring. We want to save people. We are overly sensitive and take things personally.
I took something really personally Tuesday afternoon.
I flew home from Dallas and there was a young couple with a 6-month boy sitting next to me. When we arrived in Atlanta, we waited a few minutes before we started to get our stuff and get off the plane.
When I got my suitcase out of the overhead bin, I did not realize where the young lady was standing and hit her in the neck with my bag. Of course, it caused some pain and she let out an “Ow!”
Well, I got all flustered about what I had let happen. I apologized and asked her if she was OK, and she said yes. So, we got off the plane.
After I left the bathroom, I saw the young family walking down the concourse. I was afraid to pass them because I did not want them to see me. I was telling myself, “Please do not rub your neck!” What happened? She rubbed her neck.
There I was, thinking I had injured this poor young lady. So, I started dwelling on it. I dwelled on it the rest of Tuesday, and I dwelled on it some more Wednesday.Finally, by late Wednesday, I started letting the thing go.
Logically, I understood that the young lady surely would have said something if she was seriously injured, but emotionally, I felt like I had caused severe damage. So, I immediately started dwelling on it.
I have more work to do on myself. Fortunately, the “dwelling on it” only lasted about a day. In the past, I would still be dwelling on it.
Dwelling on it does not change anything. It just causes me to be upset with myself for something that happened. I did not intentionally hit the young lady with my bag. She told me she was OK. I have been hit by bags and other things. I did not let that bother me.
I need to read my special report:
MISTAKE #4 – Not Developing An Effective Support System discusses dwelling on things. It was very beneficial to have my cousin, Diane, go walking with me Wednesday afternoon. That really helped take my mind in another direction. I am not dwelling on the “killer suitcase” episode any longer.
Yours in good health,
Phil Holleman spent 10 years struggling with major depression. After realizing he had the knowledge and strength to rise above the illness and stigma associated with it, he created ABoldNewLife.com to help others who are recovering or desperately want to recover from depression. He hopes you will join him on the journey and use your inner strength to free yourself from the bondage.
Phil has a special report entitled “7 Mistakes You Make When You Suffer From Depression.” So many people make these mistakes that slow their recovery from depression. Don’t let this be YOU! Grab this report now!!